So as I just posted we went to the movies tonight. Opening night of Spider-man 2. Us and every other couple with at least 5 kids under 10, and I think every infant under a year old in this crap ‘Burg.

We chose seats near the front to try to get as much noise as possible behind us and closer to the screen to drown out the yahoos. We were in the “pit” three rows in front, behind us a main aisle then the raked stadium seats began.

Of course, 5 min till show time a couple with 5 kids and crying baby grabs the seats to my left.

Behind us in the stadium seats are at least one dozen infants including one who’s parents would NOT take it out of the theatre and they cried or whimpered all two hours!… but wait, I’m leaving out the best part – the white trash Bubba and his Budweiser induced spawn of Satan sitting in dead center of Aisle one of the stadium seat, right behind me.

This punkass brought “snaps” to the movie theater and was throwing them at people, including myself before it started. After several went off, we weren’t sure that they were until one went of in front of me, saw the flash and knew then what they were.

It was at this point Mr Man got up to get someone, since he knew if I did it it would have resulted in an international incident, and I would have started in on the people with babies and assholes who I saw turn down their cell phones, but not off.

(For those that don’t know what “snaps” are, they are little twists of paper (they look like sperm shaped spitwads) filled with powder and when you throw them they hit the floor with loud SNAP! Not harmful but certainly no place in the movie theatre. And throwing them AT people? Oh hell no.)

So Mr Man, takes off and Bubba, the loud talking hillbilly daddy says to his son “now you you have to out those away, (snap!) you’re gonna get me in trouble (snap!)”. Mr Man comes back with the usher. I point him to the seats and growl. The usher has some words and at least after that I heard no more snaps after the movie began, just crying babies.

One of these days I’m going to start approaching parents of fussy babies after the movie for a $1 to reimburse me the cost of the parts of the movie I couldn’t hear. I mean I have enough trouble with the permanent 24/7 screeching sound, without the screeching of children lumped in.

BTW, I encourage everyone on starting this practice., maybe in time folks will learn it’s not worth the complaints to take the stinking baby to the movie and hire a sitter or foist them off on grandma for a couple hours.

Also – Why can’t they install a buzzer or white courtesy phone inside the theatre, in the wall as you enter so you don’t have to leave the theatre and wait to find a person and miss the film to report someone of stupid behavior? Tell me, someone.